What lies at the center of The Profiler’s Shadow?
When I began writing my debut novel, my focus was on crafting an exciting thriller set in my hometown, one that would feature a transgender woman as its protagonist. I created a big bad who would challenge the heroine and be a fascinating character. Then I wrote, and wrote, only slowly defining what it was that I truly desired to write about. I have been working on this first novel for a couple of years, going through the complete life stories of the main characters, from their childhoods to the present day, to flesh them out.
The question became: what do I wish to explore in terms of thematics? Would you believe that the ideas came rushing in like a torrential downpour? So, I went back to who my main character was, what type of trauma she endured as a child, and when she became aware of who she was. And why the hell did she opt to become a criminal profiler?
Those questions and their answers became the bedrock on which everything else would find solid footing. And this is when I knew what the central themes would be for THE PROFILER’S SHADOW. The central theme would be Mary’s struggle with PTSD, stemming from her abusive and violent past, loss, and the transphobia growing up and as a profiler. The case would force her to revisit these wounds, particularly her relationship with her father, to understand the killer’s motive and ultimately heal. Her journey from isolation to connection is a direct result of confronting this past.
Confronting past trauma to reclaim one's future is explored with depth and hopefully, sensitivity. Mary's journey is a powerful, nuanced examination of how childhood abuse and societal prejudice shape an individual, making her eventual stand against her tormentor deeply resonant and earned. Mary’s identity as a trans woman is a constant source of both internal conflict (dysphoria, social anxiety) and external prejudice. The story subverts the "isolated victim" trope by having her build a "found family" with an ex and two other new friends—a group of queer women who offer acceptance and support, empowering her to reclaim her strength and agency.
A recurring motif is the act of seeing. Mary’s skill is "seeing" into the minds of criminals, yet she fails to "see" the killer hiding in plain sight. The killer, in turn, is obsessed with being "seen" by Mary. This theme is reinforced by characters' use of disguises (the use of contacts, Mary's sunglasses as a shield) and the constant surveillance, both by the killer and the police cameras. We perceive ourselves rarely as others do.
The exploration of identity and belonging plays a big role. Predisposition to elements of our lives, especially during childhood, that can have a strong influence on the way we develop, was also something I needed to pick apart to get a sense of why trauma affects people differently.
In the end, The Profiler’s Shadow is a psychological crime thriller that showcases a transgender woman as the protagonist, along with a few other queer women. The Profiler’s Shadow is about human frailty and resolve, exploring what it might look like to work through trauma while facing discrimination. Ultimately, I would say that it’s about choosing life. Two words that author Jean Roberta Hillabold used in a Facebook comment about my novel will forever stick in my mind. I find they encapsulate much of what I strive for while writing “disturbingly realistic”.
Currently, aside from taking a break to compose these words and keep you updated on my progress, I am conducting a final edit and polishing the manuscript before submitting it to the publisher. Wishing everyone a beautiful summer day.
Joelle
